Staying Calm Through The Storm

By Horesia Nyawade

It’s 10 days to my 31st birthday and I’m nowhere near excited, as I usually am around this time of the year. My heart is so heavy. I have a warped view of who I am. I am feeling like a failure, an imposter - an idiot even. I’ve not always been like this though.

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This morning I was reflecting on my energy around the same time last year. I was alive! I had so much hope and confidence. My future felt and looked bright - I was ready to give it my ALL. I did give it my ALL.


I went on to launch my coaching business. I created a signature fitness accountability program - fully ran on WhatsApp. I planned a whole wedding - my wedding! With all this momentum, I even wrote out a whole strategy for 2022. I thought of the different ways I was going to grow my ventures and get closer to my dreams.

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In the meantime; other shit was also going down. I had a huge fall out with my family. In my quest to live my true and authentic life; I faced the worst and most hurtful forms of adversity. All of a sudden I was alone. Nobody wanted to associate with me. I was an embarrassment to them. I started doing the work. Navigating through my pain: therapy, podcasts, journals, yoga - meditation. I did them all. I still DO.

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Anyway, here I am again. It just feels like the more progress I make, the weaker I get. It’s getting harder to get up again. It’s getting harder to keep fighting. I find myself praying for wins - big or small. One win to show that it is all worth it. One win to show that it will all pay off. One win to keep me going.

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Yours in Wellness


About the Guest Writer: Horesia Nyawade is an Accountability Coach and Digital Visibility Strategist based in Johannesburg, South Africa. She supports high-performing individuals to achieve their goals, while maintaining a sustainable work life balance. In her spare time, she loves practicing yoga, baking and seasonal hiking. Follow her work here: Website Instagram Coaching

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